Mochilla & Sniffles

Spend the first 15 minutes of yesterday discussing this whole idea. It's beautiful but getting up and walking all day everyday is a choice. I supposed it's like all the choices we make at home; work, parenting, exercise, etc. The human mind/body (at least mine) is one that has temptation and for me I am realizing it more on the camino. Mostly because there are NO distractions; I have one goal every day; GET TO THE NEXT PLACE. I can't get distracted by laundry, dishes, work, kids, the lawn work, nothing. It's so simple it's difficult. Yesterday I was walking and about mile 2 I started having the sniffles. My body is trying to rid itself of the cold I picked up right before I left the states. It's all coming out, which is long overdue but today, for once I forgot to pack kleenex in my front pack (on my tummy) - easy access. All I had was the TP in my mochilla (backpack) and I have learned that although I am very comfortable carrying my mochilla and it's weight, once it is ON I rarely take it off until the camino is over for the day. Well except to add water. But the 'putting on and taking off' reminds me of it's WEIGHT. It's like on the weekends and then you have to go back to MONDAY.... just another day, but because of the 'days off' it seems heavier than other days.So yesterday I walk uphill for a while, a beautiful shady uphill, through forests, new wildflowers appearing, very sweaty, but beautiful. Sniffle, sniffle, curse at myself for forgetting my kleenex, refusing still to take my pack off. Then my mind starts noticing the various backpacks of all peregrinos; bike (double bag) backpacks, simple little 3.5 kg backpacks, how some peregrino's have all their laundry hanging out to dry on the outside of their backpacks and others have all their stuff tucked neatly inside, some peregrinos have their backpacks shipped to the next village and don't choose to carry the weight of it on the journey; and then it dawns on me that my mochilla is very similar to life and family and the choices we make as to what we "carry" with us on our journeys. I am a single mom, and have been for 20 years. I chose a long time ago to carry that on my own spirit; for me it was the best choice. As Ryan and Kenzie are maturing and leaving my home, my mochilla (that is responsible for their well being) is quite lightened. I continue to think about this in my walk and although the feeling of 'lightness' is good, there are bitter sweet tears as I realize I must let go of that part of my backpack. They must be allowed to carry their own weight and it's hard for met to let go. So much about being a MOM is who I AM. It's part of my identity that I feel very proud of. I like who Iam as a mom and now that my pack is lighter, I am not sure who this new Kay will be. I mean, I will still be mom, and I am certainly aware of who I am but this new chapter is very different and partly that is why I shaved my own head, to celebrate the very fresh newness of my spirit and this journey of life, which is beginning on this camino.Dammit I am still sniffling, at this point, I am mile 7 of 12, and sniffle sniffle sniffle is pissing me off. I actually got off trail looking for leaves that looked like they could be used as kleenex. I am certain Bear Gryyls (or however you spell his name) Mr. Outdoors would know exactly what rock this 'blow your nose kind of leaf' grows under. Bear Griyyls I am NOT. I found one I thought looked possible but what if I am wrong? and I end up with spanish poison ivy on my face because I am too lazy to take my pack off at mile 7 and get out my TP?Well I had another idea (do not try this at home, on a date, near absolutely anyone is public, don't even mention it as a skill when you fill out the eHarmony dating add - Iam sure in their 29 profile segments- 'skills' is listed but DO NOT MENTION THAT YOU CAN DO THIS. If you have a cold and IF you are on a camino and IF you are in mile 7 with 5 more to go and IF it's like 100 degrees out and IF your pack is too heavy to want to deal with,.... you can lean your head out over the side bushes and with all the might you have, blow as hard as you can with your mind and believe it or not! All the sniffles will come flying out of the front of your nose into the bushes and none of it will land on you or near you or anything! In normal life this is called; Gross..... on mile 7 of a hot camino... it's freaking AWESOME!You cannot imagine how big Ismiled when Ipulled that trick off! I wasn't exactly sure it was going to work but it did!!Then I continued on for the day....absolutely without sniffles